IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD

Tomorrow marks one week post-op for me. I have had a different experience every day with my body. I’ve learned about good days and about bad days.

One bad day started on Sunday afternoon. I took a short nap and woke up to the TV being on the food network channel thus putting me in a foul mood – I mean ffffoul!!! I took it out on Jim (you should have seen his face when I started in on him. He was in total shock at the flip of my disposition and his facial reaction was classic!!) It was during this melt down that I decided I had to get out of the house so I went for a neighborhood walk.

Walking would have been the best thing but NO, I had to choose to have my flip out the night before trash day so everyone had their trash bags out on the curbs in white see thru trash bags (what happened to the black ones??) so I could see what they had eaten from their discarded boxes, etc. I tried not to look but you know how it is….you HAVE to look. I saw old pizza boxes, Port-of-Subs sandwich wrappings, potato chip bags and diet Pepsi cans….That is when I became infuriated and fell into the “poor me, ohhhhhhh poor me” attitude.

I continued to walk in the Las Vegas heat, crying and screaming to myself inside (didn’t want my neighbors to think I was not only fat but wacko) and headed to my house so I could take a cool shower and try to calm down.

I started to cry in the shower which is a big deal for me because Debbie is not a crier. The water started to cool me down and the crying started to calm me down. I put on cool clothing and sat under the ceiling fan and called a friend of mine who had this same operation a couple of years ago. I told her I was so afraid of failing because I was still hungry after having my stomach pouch cut down to the size of my thumb and wanted to EAT!! She told me that “IT’S ALL IN YOUR HEAD DEB” and assured me that I would be okay. After I hung up with her I realized there will be good days and there will be bad days and thankfully, this bad day experience was coming to an end.